Here you will find hundreds of the practical insights I have gleaned from my years of professional and private life. As a columnist, I’ve written many articles about relationships, including codependency and addiction. But I’ve also shared insights into happiness, self-growth, mental health, trauma, grieving and other life issues.
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Several years ago when I had returned to Ontario for my oldest daughter’s Memorial service, I had an opportunity to visit my elderly aunt in her retirement home in the small town of Elmira. Great visit! Of my late father’s nine siblings, she is the only one still alive. Continue reading Personal Legacy: Remembering and Being Remembered
My work as the consulting psychologist for a drug and alcohol addiction treatment center for men taught me a few things.
Most of the men were clear that they wanted to overcome their primary addiction. Additionally, many of them were clear that they didn’t want anything else to change. They didn’t want to lose their friends, their jobs, their marriages or their homes… Continue reading Addiction, Healing, and Transformation
Writing about grace was a personal challenge, because it forced me to drill down deep enough to identify the essence of what is important to me and how I manifest it in my life. I invite you to try it; it’s not that easy.
A lot of things are important to me — marriage and family, material well-being, health, humanity and our planet. And there are a host of other things that also have personal importance, but are less central — adventure, travel, sensual pleasures and intellectual stimulation. I’m sure you can come up with a good-sized list of things that are important to you.
I tackled the problem by thinking of people whom I have used as models in my own evolution. Five people stood out, three of them well known… Continue reading Grace: Drilling Down to Core Values
Romantic couple drinking a toast to their many years together
Relationships are about learning, growth and connection, beginning with our first relationships with our parents. We did huge amounts of learning during those growing up years. Besides the physical stuff we learned language so we could communicate our needs and then begin to understand the needs of others. We learned the rudiments of love and connection.All of this was essential to our being able to connect successfully with others as adults. We are hardwired to seek connection with others and hardwired to seek intimacy… Continue reading What is the purpose of relationships?
Polonius’s counseled his son in Shakespeare’s Hamlet:
This above all: to thine own self be true.
After my first wife and I separated, I dated and fell in love with a woman who lived some distance away. I was enamored with this person who seemed to be able to accept me as I was. Then one day she commented that I was living in my head… Continue reading Self-Betrayal is the Ultimate Betrayal