Reconnecting after a Death or Divorce

Dr. Neill Neill

Again and again I hear from people who are having difficulty with a new relationship in which one of the parties has recently been in a relationship which ended. 

The ending may have come through the death of a partner or a separation.  I define "recently" as during the past year or two. In either case a multitude of emotions will be surfacing.  In either case there will be grief, fear, resentment and anger before it’s over.

The one seeking help or advice is sometimes the person recently bereaved or separated, and sometimes the person who has entered a relationship with someone recently bereaved or separated.

Before going into a discussion of the issue, I must declare that I have been there…

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A Hard Personal Lesson in Acceptance

By Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist

There have been some deeply personal things going on in my life that during the past few weeks have made me feel at times like my life is on hold.

My son is gravely ill.

My firstborn son, Richard, is gravely ill at age 41. He’s in the capable loving care of his wife, Tracey. He is receiving excellent daily palliative care from an outside support team. But he lives 3000 miles from where I live.

My wife Eileen and I visited him in early October when it appeared he had only days to live. He has rallied somewhat, and I’m planning another trip within the next two weeks. At this point he thinks he will make it until my next visit.

And that is why I have this feeling of being on hold.

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Alcoholic Blackouts: The Big Lie

Dr. Neill Neill

The subject of alcoholic blackouts is a controversial one.  The argument that a person was in an alcoholic blackout and didn’t know what he was doing at the time has been used in court successfully to help people avoid the legal consequence of their actions.  Lawyers have used the argument of the alcoholic blackout to help a man avoid the legal consequences of beating his wife to death or of killing someone while driving drunk.

For someone to be convicted of a crime he has to know the difference between right and wrong at the time of the crime.  When he goes to court and has no recollection of the incident, his lawyer argues that he was not conscious of what he was doing when he committed the crime.

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