Marriage: Seven Questions to Consider in Choosing your Ideal Marriage Partner

Choosing well is the foundation for a goodmarriage. Yet choosing is one of the most neglected pieces of the process of meeting, bonding, marrying, living life together and possibly having children. Choose well: the good and bad outcomes of your choice will shape your life, whether a first or [tag-tec]second marriage, a Christian marriage, a common-law marriage, a mixed-race marriage or a same-sex marriage.

1.           Can you accept each other as you are, warts and all? You can’t change another person and you have absolutely no right to try to change your spouse. At the same time don’t promise to change if your potential partner can’t accept you as you are.  

This in no way means that you have to be the same.  Acceptance of yourself and each other can accommodate wide differences between you.

Acceptance is the most basic issue. If you can’t accept the reality of each other, walk.

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Blog of the Day Award Goes to Practical Psychology for Capable People

Neill Neill, Ph.D.

I am tickled that someone nominated Practical Psychology for Capable People for the Blog of the Day Award and am so grateful to have been selected for the award for January 29, 2007. Thank you to my readers. Thank you to the reviewers at Blog of the Day Awards.

The Blog of the Day Award  furthers the big goal, the mission, of Practical Psychology for Capable People, which is to provide practical psychological and spiritual nourishment, guidance and tips for [tag-cat]self growth[/tag-cat] daily to thousands of visitors from around the world, so that we can all achieve more peace and fulfillment in our lives. This is my vision.

If you share my vision and want to help, send your questions, comments and suggestions. Tell your family and friends about the blog. Join my email list.

And above all bookmark the site and come back often.

Blessings, 

Neill

The Myth of the Functioning Alcoholic

Is the “functioning alcoholic” some sort of mythical figure, or does he actually exist and move among us?

Mark comments in his short article entitled “A Functional Alcoholic?” on the fact people often say at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, “I was a functioning alcoholic.” http://www.adozensteps.com/a-functional-alcoholic/

He argues from the perspective of a twelve-step program that there is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic.

I’ve maintained in other writings on alcoholism that “functioning” means three things:

  1. You are functioning well in all areas of your life, not just on your job.

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South Beach Diet and Psychotherapy

Neill Neill, Ph.D.

I just read a disturbing article in the New York Times, disturbing because its implications go far beyond the scope of the article.

The article is entitled, "What’s a Pound of Prevention Really Worth?" by David Leonhardt. He talks about a cardiologist who characterizes himself as "an accidental diet doctor." Dr. Arthur Agatston of South Beach Diet fame now claims that "Heart attacks are essentially disappearing from my practice."

The big picture of what he is saying and taking action on is simple. We know many of the factors that prevent heart attacks, both medical and lifestyle, so a vigorous prevention program reduces the risk by "up to 80 percent."

The problem is it takes a committed patient, frequent visits, nurses, nutritionists and others to succeed.

And according to the article his practice is losing money. Why?

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Anger as a Sign of Healing

Neill Neill Ph.D.

A Story of Healing 

One time years ago I was treating two young women who were both showing signs of depression and grief and in general having a hard time in life. Both lived in a large city and didn’t know each other.

Neither could afford to pay for [tag-tec]psychotherapy[/tag-tec] so their mothers were footing the bill.

It turned out that one had suffered sexual abuse as a child and the other as a teen had been in a couple of serious accidents causing physical injury, plus some other severe trauma in the interval between the two accidents.

We focused on clearing the aftereffects of trauma and were progressing very well with the work. Both were coming out of their depression. Both were no longer grieving their losses, one her loss of childhood (sexual abuse does this), and the other her loss of a carefree healthy transition from child to adult.

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