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Learn to Take Responsibility and Avoid Marital Problems

parents fighting and child stuck in between isolated on white

Volumes have been written on the importance of taking responsibility. Some of it is psychological, some of it legalistic and much of it moralistic. This article is about taking responsibility for your own emotions, with a focus on marital conflict. […]

What Type of Emotional Legacy Are You Leaving your Family?

father with baby 2

I had remarried a couple of years before and was busy at home trying to establish a new consulting business. We had a typical family life with three teenagers at home with lots of distractions and noise; it was often hard to concentrate on my work. My frustration was showing up in ways that I was barely aware of. One day my wife said to me very calmly, “Neill, it’s bothering the kids how you are snapping at them. If you don’t do something about it, you will end up as a lonely, grouchy old man.” What hit me was the thought that my family would remember me as a grouch. I could not allow that to be my emotional legacy. The internal shift was instantaneous. […]

Marriage Stress, Blame and Alcohol

Attempting to control

Life is full of events that lead to personal distress. And stress can build upon stress which can lead to marriage problems. If one of you drinks to reduce stress, in time the drinking itself causes stress and becomes a major roadblock to solutions. Quite naturally, you look around to see what’s causing your distress and the only person there is your spouse, so you instinctively blame him or her for upsetting you. […]