Volumes have been written on the importance of taking responsibility. Some of it is psychological, some of it legalistic and much of it moralistic. This article is about taking responsibility for your own emotions, with a focus on marital conflict.
An argument typically starts over something small. If it can be nipped in the bud, it’s nothing. But sometimes it escalates to the emotional boiling point, where voices are raised and both parties are hurling unrepeatable expletives at each other. Alternatively, one or both parties may slip into a seething silence.
Either way, both blame the other for their getting into this emotional state. You know the signs: “You made me do it.” “If only you would…” “I got angry because you…” “I wouldn’t drink if you…”