There are two kinds of control over other people: wisdom-based control and fear-based control.
The most obvious example of wisdom-based control is in child rearing. You are in total control of your infant child. You help your child grow up healthy and confident by controlling their learning environment. You teach through words and example and you often say no.
As time passes your child becomes more independent and learns to make good decisions. Wisdom dictates that you turn increasing amounts of control over to your maturing child.