By Neill Neill, Ph.D.

The ability to accept the flow of life without judgment is one of the secret ingredients to happiness. Acceptance does not mean that you have to like what you see, but denying reality never brings happiness to you or your community.

One of the realities we all need to practice accepting is that each generation is a little different from the generations that preceded it. The process is the same in every culture, no matter how much those in charge would like it to be otherwise. My stories below are from my own culture; make up your own if you are from a different culture

I am disappointed when I see or hear of someone being unable to accept the normal behaviour of a generation behind them. Then I get really irked when an establishment or service provider or government official goes along with the intolerance.

Two young mothers were dining in a public restaurant with their three small children, aged three, two and 11 months. They were enjoying a nice meal and the children were happy. The youngest boy was babbling as any normal, happy 11-month-old would.

A waitress ruined their enjoyment by asking her to pacify her son on the grounds that there had been a complaint from a senior customer.

There may have been a complaint, but surely it is the server’s job to "pacify" the senior who is unhappy. The happy toddler’s behaviour was normal; the unhappy senior’s intolerance was not. The server was out of line, and if her behaviour was dictated by her boss, her boss was out of line too.

I am a senior myself. For me one of the joys of getting older is watching and accepting the emergence and blossoming of the new generations. Watching my grandchildren and great-grandchildren emerge as people is part of what keeps me young at heart. (My motorcycle helps too.)

It’s true that most seniors in my culture and grew up at a time when child-rearing practices were much more repressive than they are now. However, it is at our peril if we cannot accept the reality of the changing mores and practices of the generations that follow.

Our repeated failures to accept and adjust sometimes earn us the epithet, "dinosaurs," even from other seniors. Historically, intergenerational intolerance has been the stuff of palace revolts and revolutions.

There are, of course, many instances of younger generations not accepting seniors. I knew, for example, a senior golfer who was going blind. He still enjoyed the game, but he knew his days of golfing were numbered. He took someone with him to watch his shots and show him where his ball went.

I thought this man provided a wonderful example of growing old with grace and a positive attitude. Yet I heard a thirty-something-year-old complain bitterly about his presence on the golf course, because the older gentleman was "slow." Fortunately in this case, management attempted to pacify the correct person.

Having mentioned someone’s intolerance of an older slower, golfer, I must add that it’s easier for me to accept the fact that younger generations have difficulty with older generations than vice versa. After all, younger generations haven’t been here yet. But there’s no excuse for us who have been there.

One further example of some people’s difficulty with acceptance is in order. Breast-feeding our infants is as old as the human race. Increasingly, young mothers are able to respond to their infants’ need for nourishment by nursing wherever they are, even in restaurants and other public places.

My response is "bravo!" It’s a reminder of how repressed our society was only a few decades ago. And yet I recall a recent incident when a nursing mother in a public eating place was ordered to desist. Breast-feeding her infant was an affront to the sensibilities of the older manger. How sad!

Acceptance of the flow of life is a key to happiness. As the younger people would say, "Get with the program, Grandpa."

Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist, maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He is a member of the treatment team at Sunshine Coast Health Centre, an alcohol and drug treatment center for men. His goal is to help you to help yourself to a better life. http://www.neillneill.com