Surviving and Thriving After the Loss of a Spouse

Grieving WomanA reader wrote to me with the following:

“I would like to see an article for women who have lost an alcoholic husband, which was caused by excessive drinking over many years. I am struggling with guilt and “what ifs”. My husband died… and I am so saddened, even though there were times I wished him dead.”

This article is for all women who have lost, or anticipate losing, a husband…

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Dr Neill Neill Interviewed by Kenneth Anderson of HAMS

Kenneth Anderson of HAMS (Harm Reduction for Alcohol) interviewed me as a guest on his radio program on Thursday, August 30. The recording of the show is below. If there’s any problem with the recording, you can go directly to blog talk radio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/harm-reduction/2012/08/31/if-your-spouse-drinks

Listen to internet radio with Kenneth Anderson on Blog Talk Radio
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Alcohol Abuse and Codependency: Two Sides of the Same Coin

addiction / codependencyAs my sister-in-law’s ex-military husband sank into his confined world of alcoholism, she refused to shrink along with him. She was very clear she would not go through another divorce. Instead, she vigorously pursued her garden, bridge and investment club activities. She maintained a strong bond with her middle-aged daughter and many friends…until cancer ended her life.

Her approach was not typical. To her credit, she chose to look after herself, rather than adjusting her behavior to keep the marriage in balance.

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Marriage Stress, Blame and Alcohol

Attempting to control

Life is full of events that lead to personal distress. And stress can build upon stress which can lead to marriage problems.  If one of  you drinks to reduce stress, in time the drinking itself causes stress and becomes a major roadblock to solutions.

Quite naturally, you look around to see what’s causing your distress and the only person there is your spouse, so you instinctively blame him or her for upsetting you.

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