Dr. Neill Neill
Some people view change as positive. Some people view it as negative. The fact of the matter is we all experience change at one point or another. So, why do we try to resist change?
Around the end of August I went on a solo motorcycle journey to the southern Yukon and back. That always clears my head. Then Eileen and I circumnavigated the Olympic Peninsula by car. Road trips are good! Home again in the quiet aftermath, I got a big flash about change…
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Search Tags: change people change positive change resist change resisting change
Dr. Neill Neill
Have you ever felt burned out? Are life and work becoming just too much and you need a break? Burnout is all too common in the fast paced society we live in.
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Search Tags: burnout suicide
Dr. Neill Neill
There is more to retirement planning than the financial issues. As a psychologist, I see people with avoidable emotional issues. If you incorporate mental health and life legacy goals into your planning as you approach retirement, you can create a happier retirement and a more peaceful marriage.
Sam
Sam retires and is finally "free to not have to get up and go to work every day…"
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Search Tags: emotional issues financial issues friends marriage personal friends retirement retirement planning
Dr. Neill Neill
There has been much in the news about bed closures in care facilities, new nursing homes opening, and the stress for the elderly of being moved. Many issues should be taken into consideration when deciding if an elder care facility is the right choice.
A mid-eighties couple I know illustrates the latter point. After decades together, failing health has forced her into a care facility. He walks there every day and visits with her for a few hours. If he had to go into care, but couldn’t be with her, or if she were moved to another facility that he couldn’t get to, it would probably kill both of them. Either event would take away the last thing that gives their lives meaning.
The Holocaust and other wartime trauma comes back to haunt the elderly…
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Search Tags: elder abuse elder care elderly holocaust holocaust survivors home care nursing homes post traumatic stress disorder trauma WWII
Neill Neill
Emotional distress, or emotional discomfort as I like to call it, is a sign that something is not right in your life. These are the times when you grow and change the most–usually for the better. The key to making it through difficult times is finding clarity.
Some years ago I had a boss who was obsessed with finding out how "comfortable" people were after each counselling session with me. I told him "I am not in the comfort business. I am in the clarity business." I must admit that I was in a lot of mental/emotional ‘discomfort’ during those arguments with my boss. I was fired less than a year later, bringing even more intense discomfort. I blamed my former boss for everything…
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Search Tags: clarity confusion counselling crises difficult times discomfort economy emotional emotional effects job loss trauma
The holidays are meant to be a time of joy and memories, and they always have been for Eleen and me. But the 2008 holiday is the first Christmas we are facing after our son Colin died and the third after our son Richard died. We both admit to apprehensiveness as the holidays gets closer.
There is no doubt the holidays can cause stress for the bereaved, and can often take the joy out of the season. The following article, "Important Tips for Managing the Holidays for the Bereaved," was written by Gloria Lintermans and Marilyn Stolzman. They sent it to me just after Richard died two years ago and gave me permission to republish here. Their article gives useful tips on learning how to enjoy the holidays again. Thank you Gloria and Marilyn.
On a personal note, this year we are combining Tip 1, CREATE A NEW HOLIDAY RITUAL, with Tip 8, FAMILY AND FRIENDS: our son Ian from Ontario will be spending Christmas with us. It will be his first visit to the West.
I wish you all a holiday time filled with love and light.
Dr. Neill Neill
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Search Tags: bereaved coping strategies grief grieving holidays ritual stress
Dr. Neill Neill
Refuse to Participate
In the midst of a possible recession in the US and around the world, the fear out there is palpable. The economy is affecting everyone in daily living. What can be done?
Many people are making decisions out of panic. Some are selling their retirement investments. Others are like the deer in headlights: they are frozen in their fear. They are unable to continue with holiday plans, house purchases, renovations, vehicle replacement and even dinners out.
As the media bandies about the "R" word, there are reports of people even failing to purchase required prescription medications.
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Search Tags: economic recession economy fear investments panic psychologists psychology of recession recession reduce stress retirement retirement investments
Dr. Neill Neill
Domestic violence and child abuse are two very sensitive topics. Yet, October is dedicated to helping people become aware of these two types of abuse and how to recognize an abusive relationship. The article focuses on awareness of spousal abuse in particular.
I knew a man who regularly raged at his wife, but never in public, so few people knew about it. As his wife got better at not accepting unwarranted blame, his rages grew into smashing furniture and driving recklessly. He eventually assaulted her and broke bones. Then she left. He always believed she was at fault.
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Search Tags: abusive relationships child abuse domestic abuse domestic violence domestic violence awareness emotional abuse spousal abuse verbal violence wife battery
Dr. Neill Neill
Most men in the 40 to 55 age range will experience a period of emotional difficulty at some point. A minority will reach that point before 40 or after 55.
They typically go through it privately, but if it becomes visible, it is sometimes called a mid-life crisis. They may feel unhappy or anxious, or feel stuck in an unsatisfying marriage. They may be troubled by physical problems such as, high blood pressure, heart problems or insomnia. They may be spending or drinking compulsively.
Regardless of the set of symptoms each presents, they are unanimous in their feeling that something is not quite right in their lives.
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Search Tags: Men mid life crisis middle aged men Neill Neill self identity self growth socialization
Dr. Neill Neill
If you are like most of us, there are some things you’d like to change in yourself. Perhaps you’ve even made New Years resolutions to change.
This kind of commitment is good. Commitment is one key to losing weight, getting in shape, learning a new skill, finding your soul mate, getting a better job, learning a new language, running a marathon, going back to school, drinking less, spending time with your kids or communicating better with your partner.
Commitment gets things going.
You may be one of those people who can commit to personal change and follow through just like the women in the weight-loss adds on TV. If so, congratulations!
Enter Self Sabotage
If you are like most of us and run into problems following through, however, perhaps you are sabotaging your intentions without even realizing it. Does the following example apply to you in any way?
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Search Tags: alcoholism commitment functioning alcoholic language mental health New Years resolutions personal change self sabotage
