One of my stepsons is gravely ill in hospital, and the past three weeks have been an emotional roller coaster ride for him and the entire family. He has been my son since he was 11; he just turned 40. This is a personal story of grief, love, anger, acceptance and gratefulness.
He went to Emergency with "the flu" under pressure from the family. They thought he had pneumonia and admitted him. It turned out to be a serious staff infection.
Then tests revealed that the infection had moved to his heart area, and since he has an artificial heart valve, they transferred him to the cardiac unit in a larger hospital. There, various specialists are involved: cardiac, infectious disease, internal medicine and others as needed. One thing was agreed on: the condition of his heart rules out surgery…
Did you know that Christmas time ranks just below finances at the top of the list of what people find stressful and worrisome? Yes, Christmas has a dark side as well as a bright side. Where are you on the continuum between joy and dread at Christmas? Or are you all over the map?
For some Christmas is a time of joy, of family reunions, of generosity, of friendship, of gleeful children, of Christmas lights and of celebration. But for others Christmas is a dreaded time of pain, sadness or loneliness.
A new website is about to launch. It could be big and it is already multinational. It’s called "School Made Much Easier" and it’s designed for students, parents, educators and EFT practitioners. The website is www.SchoolMadeMuchEasier.com. Check it out and get your name on the advance notice list. The expected launch is in a couple of weeks.
School Made Much Easier is the brainchild and passion of Paul Widdershoven, an experienced EFT practitioner.
Emotional Freedom Technique, commonly known as EFT, is an energy-healing technique developed by Gary Craig (my teacher) in the 1990s. It has been so effective in reducing emotional distress that it is now used by psychologists, counsellors, medical doctors and educators around the world. What’s even more exciting is that tens of thousands of non-professionals use EFT as a valuable self-help tool.
One time I heard a man I knew say to his wife "I don’t trust you. But don’t take it personally; I don’t trust anyone."
What made his statement particularly bizarre was that this same man expected trust from everyone else—his employees, his business associates, his creditors, and yes, his wife.
The fact is you need people to trust you to order a meal in a restaurant, to have a credit card or a driver’s license or even to be out in public. You can’t get on in life without others trusting you.
But neither can you get on in life without trusting others too. You trust your employer will pay you. You trust the driver of the car arriving at the stop sign will stop and not run into you.
How does trust develop? The fact is you started off in life in a state of trust.
It was with sadness that I heard the news of the death in our small community of a five-year-old boy, accidentally run over by a backing truck. And now I see from the local newspaper that his grieving parents are struggling with an insurance company.
What distinguishes an accidental death from other deaths is the suddenness. Most of what I write below applies to other deaths, although the timing may be a bit different.
Last year I suffered the death of a son. But the death of a child? My son was 41 and we saw it coming; this little boy was vibrant and healthy and only five. When a child of that age dies, it is as if a part of the parents dies. What horrific trauma for the parents!
I want to thank www.More4kids.info for the insightful article, Does your Child Have an Imaginary Friend? Both the article and a movie (below) could be really helpful to parents who are wondering about whether or not they should push reality or participate with their child in interacting with their imaginary friend. Dealing with your child’s imaginary friends is an interesting part of parenting.
We just watched the excellent movie entitled, Opal Dreams, in which a child with two imaginary friends, Pobby and Dingan, interacts with her parents and community. Opal Dreams is available on DVD and is set in Lightning Ridge, the opal capital of Australia. It’s a family film worth watching. Enjoy.
The ability to accept the flow of life without judgment is one of the secret ingredients to happiness. Acceptance does not mean that you have to like what you see, but denying reality never brings happiness to you or your community.
One of the realities we all need to practice accepting is that each generation is a little different from the generations that preceded it. The process is the same in every culture, no matter how much those in charge would like it to be otherwise. My stories below are from my own culture; make up your own if you are from a different culture
I am disappointed when I see or hear of someone being unable to accept the normal behaviour of a generation behind them. Then I get really irked when an establishment or service provider or government official goes along with the intolerance.
Those of you who know me personally or have been following my blog are aware that I lost my son to cancer and other problems three months ago. In fact, he died three months ago yesterday. It is a part of parenting none of us ever wants to have face, but it happened nonetheless.
I tell my clients that it may take two years to get completely through the grieving for the loss of a loved one. But applying that principle to my own life is harder. I think I’ve been doing quite well in getting back to normal. My energy level is back up. I am able to concentrate. I am enjoying my work. Family life is good.
Then two things happened this week that caught me off guard and shouldn’t have. For the past week or so I have been having disturbing dreams. They’re not intense enough to qualify as nightmares, but they are about death and loss and interpersonal blunders. A couple of times I’ve not been able to get back to sleep.
We all know people who bully their way through life. Through bluster and intimidation they get what they want at the expense of other people.
This column is not about schoolyard bullying. It’s about the models we provide to our children who then become bullies or their victims.
The bullies in adult life are the bosses who exude the message "My way or the highway." They are the men and women who hijack a committee by jockeying themselves into the position of chairperson, and then through force of position and personality, get the committee to endorse what they want. Your choice is to go along with them or resign.
Bullying is the antithesis of leadership. The leader inspires people to bring out their best while pursuing a common goal. The bully intimidates. The leader has a high respect for others. The bully respects no one, except, of course, a bigger bully.
We find bullying in the workplace, in government, in places of religion in education and in the family. Our children are exposed to these models every day.
After some much-needed family time, my first post of 2007 is to set a direction for 2007 and to invite you to come with me. In the past my first article has been about making resolutions and setting goals: how do you maximize your chances of manifesting your personal dreams for the new year?
This year I’ve been thinking about a more expanded approach, a big-picture approach to the new year. I’m not talking about your personal resolutions. Rather, I am talking about our collectively holding an intention, a larger vision for our community.
"Community" can be whatever you decide: your family, your neighborhood, your town or city, your country or even the global community.
My five top wishes for 2007 are below. Please join me in considering the big picture. Add your own big wishes to the Comments section below. With a clear direction there is something big or small that each of us can do to move our communities in that direction.
Do you want a better lifefor you and your family? Then check out Dr. Neill Neill's new ebook, "Living with a Functioning Alcoholic - A Woman's
Survival Guide" Read More
One of my stepsons is gravely ill in hospital, and the past three weeks have been an emotional roller coaster ride for him and the entire family. He has been my son since he was 11; he just turned 40. This is a personal story of grief, love, anger, acceptance and gratefulness.
Did you know that Christmas time ranks just below finances at the top of the list of what people find stressful and worrisome? Yes, Christmas has a dark side as well as a bright side. Where are you on the continuum between joy and dread at Christmas? Or are you all over the map?
A new website is about to launch. It could be big and it is already multinational. It’s called "School Made Much Easier" and it’s designed for students, parents, educators and 
One time I heard a man I knew say to his wife "I don’t trust you. But don’t take it personally; I don’t trust anyone."
It was with sadness that I heard the news of the death in our small community of a five-year-old boy, accidentally run over by a backing truck. And now I see from the local newspaper that his 
