By Carrie Powell-Davidson
We hope that Christmas is a time of joy and happy memories for everyone but the sad truth is, it is not. Many people have experienced the loss of a loved one and celebrating Christmas without them is unbearable. Others may be battling one of life’s challenges such as addiction, illness or poverty and well, their priorities just don’t include a warm and fuzzy holiday. For many of us who work so hard throughout the year, the mere thought of taking on yet another burden like preparing for Christmas is squashing any hopes of a merry ho ho. As retailers and revelers prepare to greet the festivities with open arms, let’s slow it down a notch and have a look at some ways that might help you to relax this season.
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags: Christmas holiday stress little Christmas Neill Neill stress
Dr. Neill Neill
There are many ways to end a relationship. But many troubled relationships can be turned around, especially if things have not been left simmering for too long. Rebuilding a relationship requires an intention on the part of each party to change. Focusing exclusively on the other is a recipe for failure. Witness: "You make me drink." "Your drinking is the cause of our problems."
Sadly, some relationships reach a point of no return. They are beyond being able to rebuild respect, trust, peace and love. Those marriages need to end.
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags: divorce separation end a relationship having an affair marriage infidelity marriages relationships separation troubled relationships
Dr. Neill Neill
There comes a time in life when we all begin to realize that we are not immortal. However, some people seem to live longer. Is there a key to longevity?
I recently attended the memorial service for my friend David. He died in his 87th year. David was a war hero and veteran of the Second World War and the Korean War. He lived a long and productive life, the last 40 years of it with his wife Arlene.
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags: death dying elderly grieving life live longer memorial service purpose spouse suicide
Dr. Neill Neill
Grief is an emotion we all will experience at some point in life. The loss through death of someone near to us is an inevitable part of life. Intellectually, we all get this truth, but experientially, it takes some of us a long time to get the lesson.
My oldest daughter, the mother of my first grandchild and the grandmother of my two great grandchildren, died suddenly three weeks ago in Ontario.
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags: alcohol dealing with death death death of a child grief grieving life liver disease therapy
The holidays are meant to be a time of joy and memories, and they always have been for Eleen and me. But the 2008 holiday is the first Christmas we are facing after our son Colin died and the third after our son Richard died. We both admit to apprehensiveness as the holidays gets closer.
There is no doubt the holidays can cause stress for the bereaved, and can often take the joy out of the season. The following article, "Important Tips for Managing the Holidays for the Bereaved," was written by Gloria Lintermans and Marilyn Stolzman. They sent it to me just after Richard died two years ago and gave me permission to republish here. Their article gives useful tips on learning how to enjoy the holidays again. Thank you Gloria and Marilyn.
On a personal note, this year we are combining Tip 1, CREATE A NEW HOLIDAY RITUAL, with Tip 8, FAMILY AND FRIENDS: our son Ian from Ontario will be spending Christmas with us. It will be his first visit to the West.
I wish you all a holiday time filled with love and light.
Dr. Neill Neill
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags: bereaved coping strategies grief grieving holidays ritual stress
Dr. Neill Neill
My son Colin died less than four weeks ago. Actually Colin was my stepson, but we had been in each other’s lives since he was 11, and he introduced me to hospital staff as "my dad"…he was my son. His memorial service is the day after tomorrow.
Colin had been very ill in hospital since mid February. He had an infection around his heart, and his heart suddenly gave out. The nurse who was with him said he started to have difficulty breathing and he was gone in seconds.
If you had known Colin, you would remember his charm and good humor. He could light up a room with his presence.
You might also have been exposed to his generosity and compassion.
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags: death of a son family grieving loss parenting
Dr. Neill Neill
One of my stepsons is gravely ill in hospital, and the past three weeks have been an emotional roller coaster ride for him and the entire family. He has been my son since he was 11; he just turned 40. This is a personal story of grief, love, anger, acceptance and gratefulness.
He went to Emergency with "the flu" under pressure from the family. They thought he had pneumonia and admitted him. It turned out to be a serious staff infection.
Then tests revealed that the infection had moved to his heart area, and since he has an artificial heart valve, they transferred him to the cardiac unit in a larger hospital. There, various specialists are involved: cardiac, infectious disease, internal medicine and others as needed. One thing was agreed on: the condition of his heart rules out surgery…
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags: death of a son family grieving parenting death
Dr. Neill Neill
Sophie and Mary
I knew two women I’ll call Sophie and Mary. Sophie was about 30 and worked at a job, but she knew it was not what she should be doing to find fulfillment. The problem was she didn’t know what she was ’supposed to do’. She was single, although she had been married for a few years in her early 20s. Ever since then she has been soul searching for meaning and purpose in her life.
Sophie tended to stay to herself and think a lot. Happiness was elusive. In fact she was showing signs of grief for reasons she did not understand. She wanted to have a sense of purpose in her life, but couldn’t find it. She worried about things like global warming and wondered if she could ever be in another relationship.
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags: balance fulfillment grieving happiness meaning purpose self growth
Dr. Neill Neill
It was with sadness that I heard the news of the death in our small community of a five-year-old boy, accidentally run over by a backing truck. And now I see from the local newspaper that his grieving parents are struggling with an insurance company.
What distinguishes an accidental death from other deaths is the suddenness. Most of what I write below applies to other deaths, although the timing may be a bit different.
Last year I suffered the death of a son. But the death of a child? My son was 41 and we saw it coming; this little boy was vibrant and healthy and only five. When a child of that age dies, it is as if a part of the parents dies. What horrific trauma for the parents!
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags:
Dr. Neill Neill
I have been married well over 40 years, but not all to the same woman. Yes, I have been divorced twice. If you are thinking, "He must really like being married," you would be right. I do. When a marriage is working, it is the best place on earth. But when it is failing, it can be an incredibly lonely place.
Eileen is my third wife and we have been together 27 years. She was married before. Her first husband has been married twice more, each time to a woman who had been previously married. My first wife married again and my second wife married twice more. Their husbands had all been married before.
Now, turn the clock back 150 years or so.
Click Here to Read More
Search Tags: death divorce grieving marriage marriage vows mourning murder mystery ritual until death do us part
