The Real Cost to Your Marriage of an Affair

The Office Affair

You enter into an exclusive, romantic, sexual relationship in good faith. You have the intention of “forever,” in spite of knowing the statistics on marriage casualty. I certainly did, and I completely believed my partner did too… each time. (In July we celebrated the 31st anniversary of our third marriage.)

In the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries, marriages lasted between eight and nine years. That was how long it took on average for one of the partners to die. In the 20th century as people started living longer, divorce gradually replaced death as a way of ending a marriage. Up to 1970 infidelity was the only grounds for divorce in Canada. As that became unworkable, divorce laws were liberalized. At the same time increasing numbers of committed couples simply did not legalize their marriages.

Read more

Can a Lasting Marriage Begin with Online Dating? Try Local First.

Dating

What has changed so dramatically in the last few years is the number of men and women who enter committed relationships after meeting their partner online.

Statistics:  The latest figures are that 20 million people per month are engaging in online dating. About 70% of people surveyed said they would use an online dating service to find their partner if they were looking for a relationship. And in a large-scale survey 17% of couples married from 2007 to early 2010 said they had met online…

Read more

Are you in a relationship yet feeling lonely?

No Communication

Most of us have found ourselves at some point in life flying solo. The first time is usually after you have left your family of origin and are out in the world working or studying. You have your coworkers and friends around you and you are busy creating a life for yourself in society. You are alone, but not particularly lonely.

Then you meet someone…

Read more

Marriage Advice: Maintaining Peace in your Marriage

Hopeful Couple

When you bond with and commit to a long-term marriage relationship with another human being, you usually start from a place of peace. Both of you are accepted and loved and are interested in the interests, activities and passions of the other. There may be a lot going on, but your relationship is one of peace.

As the trials and tribulations of life intervene, there will be periodic conflict, at least if you are both alive. Conflicts can be dealt with however, and the hope is that any time there is a disagreement the two of you can resolve it and move on…

Read more

Being in Control of all Aspects of Life

Blame game

There are two kinds of control over other people: wisdom-based control and fear-based control.

The most obvious example of wisdom-based control is in child rearing. You are in total control of your infant child. You help your child grow up healthy and confident by controlling their learning environment. You teach through words and example and you often say no.

As time passes your child becomes more independent and learns to make good decisions. Wisdom dictates that you turn increasing amounts of control over to your maturing child.

Read more