Grace: Drilling Down to Core Values

Grace
Grace

Writing about grace was a personal challenge, because it forced me to drill down deep enough to identify the essence of what is important to me and how I manifest it in my life. I invite you to try it; it’s not that easy.

A lot of things are important to me — marriage and family, material well-being, health, humanity and our planet. And there are a host of other things that also have personal importance, but are less central — adventure, travel, sensual pleasures and intellectual stimulation. I’m sure you can come up with a good-sized list of things that are important to you.

I tackled the problem by thinking of people whom I have used as models in my own evolution. Five people stood out, three of them well known…

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What is the purpose of relationships?

Romantic couple drinking a toast to their many years together
Romantic couple drinking a toast to their many years together

Relationships are about learning, growth and connection, beginning with our first relationships with our parents. We did huge amounts of learning during those growing up years. Besides the physical stuff we learned language so we could communicate our needs and then begin to understand the needs of others. We learned the rudiments of love and connection.All of this was essential to our being able to connect successfully with others as adults. We are hardwired to seek connection with others and hardwired to seek intimacy…

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Self-Betrayal is the Ultimate Betrayal

Self-betrayalPolonius’s counseled his son in Shakespeare’s Hamlet:

This above all: to thine own self be true.

After my first wife and I separated, I dated and fell in love with a woman who lived some distance away. I was enamored with this person who seemed to be able to accept me as I was. Then one day she commented that I was living in my head…

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Change Your Mind and Change Your Reality

A number of years ago I was driving through rush-hour Toronto traffic — eight lanes in each direction. The traffic was heavy and fast. I was making good time until I got blocked behind a car moving slower than the traffic. The word “idiot” reverberated through my head and my muscles tensed.

Just then another thought smacked my consciousness: “That driver could be my brother.” As I mulled over that uninvited thought, I realized that I didn’t know anything about that driver or his car…

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