Dr. Neill Neill

Most of us personally know at least one family that has been touched by cancer. The chances are that we have experienced cancer in our own families. Perhaps you are dealing with a diagnosis of cancer or have beaten cancer yourself.

I personally have lost a son, two sisters-in-law and two favorite uncles to cancer in the last five years.

I just got off the phone with a dear friend whose mother has been recently diagnosed with cancer. Her cancer has not metastasized, so with surgery and probably chemo her chances of a full recovery are good.

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Dr. Neill Neill

I recently read a touching post from an internet friend and artist, Janine. Thank you, Janine, for baring your soul and inspiring me to write this post.

Janine paints beautiful abstracts and is also an excellent photographer. She displayed her work at a craft fair and sold only two small pieces, and those to a fellow exhibitor. She is passionate about her work, but she lost money on the show.

Janine has some medical problems which limit her ability to pursue regular work. That, combined with the craft fair failure, led her to say,

"I feel such a failure as a human being… At the moment I am fighting doubts about what I am doing and have a sense of continued failure."

Janine, you are not unique in your struggle with disappointment and the absence of external validation for what you do. In fact, it is the core problem that most of my clients have when they come to me for help.

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Awareness is key to building a healthy, meaningful and fulfilling life after rehab. You need to be alert and aware to spot the early warning signs of relapse into addiction and take whatever action is necessary to maintain your recovery. Watch for what I like to call, "The Big Four Relapse Warning Signs."

If any one of them sneaks back into your life, take it as a warning to redouble your resolve to stay the course of your recovery.

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For the past year I have been working as consulting psychologist to an alcohol and drug addiction treatment center for men. This is not my first experience in dealing with addiction; I had earlier worked five years in a coed treatment center. I have worked with a lot of functioning alcoholics and drug addicts in my private practice as well.

Although the reasons for substance abuse and subsequent seeking help for addiction are as varied as any human population can be, there is a pattern of sameness in among those men voluntarily going into rehab.

The seven characteristics presented below relate to what is going on at the point men seek help, not to the years when usage turned to habitual substance abuse and then to addiction. Some of the characteristics, but not all, apply to women as well as men. I have become aware that certain things emerge in a group of men that did not surface when men were in a coed group.

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