by Dr. Neill Neill
The day after my last post, Parenting and Grieving , my son died. Richard slipped into a coma a few hours after our final goodbyes and died within a couple of days. Two days later we held a funeral service for him in his church as he wanted.
When it was all over, I desperately needed to be home, so I caught a flight the next day. Seven more days have passed.
The truth of what I said in my last post has hit home:
"I am [tag-tec]grieving[/tag-tec] the loss of my son. The [tag-ice]trauma[/tag-ice] of losing a child of any age is a part of [tag-cat]parenting[/tag-cat] for which there is no preparation."
Since I have been home, my emotions have been all over the map: waves of sadness and grief, sometimes anger, sometimes guilt and sometimes thankfulness. I haven’t felt well, and I seem to require an inordinate amount of sleep, although both of these are improving.
I am attending to self-care. People at the hospice have been great. Fellow healers have been there for me. Many of you have sent your prayers, and I appreciate your love.
I know I will get through this parent’s worst nightmare. Losing my son has certainly reminded me of my own mortality and deepened my appreciation for each day of life.
Psychologist Dr. Neill Neill maintains an active practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He focuses on healthy relationships and life after addictions. He is the author of Living with a Functioning Alcoholic – A Woman’s Survival Guide.
www.neillneill.com
www.ConquerAlcoholism.com
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Dear Neill. We have yet to meet but I so much appreciate you newsletters & articles in the paper. I felt so much pain for you through the death of your son. As you said, it is every parents worst nightmare. I just wanted you to know my thoughts were and are with you at this time.
Dr. Neill!! I also have not as yet had the pleasure of meeting you, and appreciate your newsletters and topics. My condolences on the passing of your son and thank you——— for sharing. Regards, Anne