Everyone feels stuck at some time or other. It’s a part of the human life cycle. Feeling stuck or trapped is a signal that something has to give. And you change and grow throughout life.
Staying stuck or getting unstuck is an inside job. However, before I address how to get unstuck, let’s take a look at the three areas of life where being stuck most often occurs. These are careers, relationships, and old age.
Careers
You could be stuck in the wrong career. You may have entered your job or career for very good reason, but you no longer like it or find it fulfilling. Or your job could have physical requirements your body can no longer handle.
Being stuck with no career is even worse than being stuck in the wrong career. You lost your job and now are becoming less confident in your ability to work. Your self-esteem is plummeting and you are heading towards hopelessness. The children you stayed home for have left the nest and you want to relaunch your life, but you’ve lost the vision you had in your twenties of your huge potential for a fulfilling life, and you feel stuck. It’s a scary place to be stuck.
Retirement is an interesting variation of “no career.” Many who have looked forward to retirement develop a feeling of being useless a year or so into their retirement. That too is a stuck place that needs to be addressed.
Relationships
Obviously those in bad relationships—loveless, abusive, dangerous—often feel stuck. Although many escape that bad place, some stay trapped.
People can get stuck within good relationships too. I have met many a 40+ woman, or man, who needs to make an important change, but says nothing for fear of how their spouse will react. So they stay stuck. Been there.
Old age
It is of course a fact of life that people get old. However, not all are stuck in it. Some enjoy old age as a time to do and think about things they never had time to before. It can be a time of reflection and wisdom, and sometimes totally new, big projects.
At the other extreme, some older people become stuck in a terminal complaint-fest. It seems that which group they join doesn’t have a lot to do with their physical condition.
“The key to moving forward when you find yourself stuck is to allow yourself
to stay painfully aware of your feeling of being stuck.”
Getting unstuck
The key to moving forward when you find yourself stuck is to allow yourself to stay painfully aware of your feeling of being stuck, because awareness is the first step in changing anything. Do whatever you need to do to break through that stuck feeling. Get help if you need it.
You need clarity, so refuse to join the victim club, and refuse the unconsciousness of alcohol abuse.
Recall that feeling stuck and becoming unstuck are inside jobs.
Always keep in mind that fulfillment and enjoyment of life are on the other side of breaking through.
PDF 
Categories: 
Tags: 
I thought this article was a reflection of me. It’s an eye opener to realize how stuck I really am. If I’m a victim, I lose power and being unconscious to the alcoholism gives control to their disease and to the abuser. Thanks.
I feel stuck too, I am 60, devoted my life to raise three children and also to an alcoholic husband. My husband is a functioning alcoholic, he is very smart and hard working but for all his potential we are nearly penniless. I have been whinning and complaining, hoping and trying very hard to still maintain things together but I am at a point in my life where I am scared. I feel like living in a forest or burry myself somewhere and let the world go by. I do love people though and life but I feel tired a lot.
I read your articles, thank you so much for caring.
Great article. And awarness that you are not where you want to be is definitely the first step toward learning the process. Because as you say, “it’s part of the human life cycle”.
Thanks for sharing.
I really appreciate this article. For many years, growing up in a home with an alcoholic father, and all the angst that goes with such situations, I too felt stuck and even smothered at times. Perhaps the most telling feelings were those of being powerless to do anything to change matters. I began to read at an very early age (3) and books inevitably became my life line. Whether it was because I read a lot, I really don’t know, but somehow I had the understanding that someday things would be different and therefore I had hope for a different kind of future. Things did eventually change but not without lasting effects. Fortunately I have been richly blessed with a successful career and a wonderful marriage that has lasted for 27 years. By the way I’m 70 years old. To all those who maybe going through difficult times seek help if needed and realize things can change for the better, albeit rarely quickly. The big thing is don’t accept any thinking that suggests permanency in your circumstances. That’s a myth – it doesn’t have to be that way.
I really appreciate this article. For many years, growing up in a home with an alcoholic father, and all the angst that goes with such situations, I too felt stuck and at times smothered. I never lost hope that there could be a different kind of future and eventually things did change, albeit not quickly. I went on to enjoy a successful career and have since been richly blessed with a wonderful marriage that is in it’s 28th year. However, these things did not come about easily, they required a lot of hard work and determination not to mention, long term comittment to realize success and avoid pitfalls.
Thanks for sharing.
I never feel stuck as well. My husband and I have lived together for 8 years 2 of which we were married. He is a functioning alcoholic. He gets up and works everyday, does laundry and helps around the house. But I can count on him drinking daily. He seems to think beer isn’t like all the other drinks.
At times I just get so angry . Angry with myself for not getting out of the relationship long ago. Angry at him for not realizing how much we all care about him and want him to be sober. At times he gets mad at us for no reason and can be emotionally abusive. I am so tired of his drinking I have thought about leaving but if I leave he will not stop if anything he would drink more and then perhaps loose his job and his life!! Feeling stuck is horrible and I think that feeling comes from knowing that either choice you make is going to cause a great deal of adjusting as well as heart ache.
Hi Stacie,
You’re correct: either choice will lead to a great deal of adjusting and heartache. But many a man or woman has stopped abusing alcohol only after their spouse has left them. It’s in the nature of change that you can’t know what will happen. He and he alone is responsible for the way he chooses to live his life.Whatever you decide, look after yourself.
I really appreciate & enjoy reading every article. Sometimes,I feel it is my only way to hold onto whatever sanity I have left. I constantly feel like the Victim…but realize I’ve created my own misery by making bad decisions/choices.
I feel so ‘stuck’ that I really wonder if there is any purpose for me to keep on..keeping on…
But then I read where many people have found a way to get unstuck…so am trying really hard to be positive that it could happen to me.
I am so grateful for this site.