Frequently Asked Questions

DR. NEILL REPLIES

Dr. Neill, How practical is it to come and see you?

I believe it is eminently practical. And it can be expensive at $200.00 per 0ne-hour session. How long will the therapy take? Four sessions? Ten sessions? Twenty? Unfortunately we don’t know in advance. But if you need the services of a member of the most senior mental health profession, there is a cost.

Is it practical to not be depressed and to be able to enjoy the company of others again? Is it practical to stop having panic attacks?
Is it practical to be able to have a conversation with your spouse again?
Is it practical to be able to respond to the kids rather than snap at them?
Is it practical to be able to speak in public for the first time in your life?
Is it practical to get rid of the headaches that have plagued you every morning for the past twenty years?

Ultimately, it is you who has to decide on the practicality.

There are no guarantees. But the clients who have made the types of gains mentioned above often say something like "It would have been worth ten times what I paid to get these results. My life has changed"

The self-esteem you could gain from doing personal work with me is permanent. It would cost a tiny fraction of what your last new car cost and the ego boost that you got from buying your new car lasted only a few months. You decide: Is living with more self esteem and self-worth practical?

What kinds of problems can you and can’t you help me with?

Most emotional/psychological problems—anxiety, depression, grieving, trauma, historical trauma, marital discord, anger problems, addictions, low self-esteem, etc.— are almost always treatable with psychotherapy. If in addition you are seeking greater self-knowledge, insight and spiritual connection, so much the better.

But there are exceptions. Major mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, appear to be more amenable to drug therapy, the domain of psychiatry.

Although some psychotherapy is done with the severely mentally ill, it is beyond the scope of my practice. Personality disorders are resistant to treatment by either drug therapy or traditional psychotherapy. However, I am familiar with recent reports of personality disorders being overcome with a really long-term therapy (years).

If you are suffering from a treatable emotional problem and you also have a drinking problem, your success will depend on your willingness to look at and deal with the whole picture. It generally won’t work to just focus on the drinking problem or the emotional problem alone.

Occasionally someone is "sent" to see me by a spouse or by a judge. Such clients are often not prepared to be a major partner in the healing process, and the therapy falters.

Can I get better without professional help?

Short answer: You often can.

If you are suffering severe depression for the first time you will probably recover from it in one to three years. Your suffering may be reduced and your recovery time may be shortened by taking antidepressant medication. Unfortunately, recurrence of the depression at some point in the future is likely. With appropriate psychotherapy, however, you will likely recover in less time and you will be less likely to have a recurrence.

Phobias, on the other hand, are not likely to change without therapy. If you are afraid of heights, you avoid heights. Fortunately, phobias usually respond quickly to therapy, especially energy psychology.

Trauma is more complex. Most people who have been traumatized earlier in life (child abuse, rape, deaths, battery, etc.), now cope with life at some level, without ever having sought professional help. I say "at some level," because often that level is less than it might have been.

The old unconfronted trauma may comes back in the form of fatigue, sleep disturbance, chronic headaches, addictions, so-so relationships, disturbing thoughts, low self esteem, or just a general malaise and unhappiness. Yet in spite of these symptoms, people go on to raise families and have successful careers. Appropriate psychotherapy can make a huge difference in their quality of life, whether it is sought at age thirty or age sixty.

What if I don’t really have a ‘problem,’ but just want to do better at my job, or my marriage, or my parenting or my life?

Great! If you are not performing and living up to your standards, there are probably emotional aspects holding you back. Our job will be to find and deal with negative core beliefs and traumatic patterns. I use energy psychology methods as primary tools in this work.

And let’s face it. At the root of all personal work, whether we call it healing or personal growth, is an intention to create more happiness in the present and a better future.

By all means, let’s discuss what you need.

Can you help me deal with pain?

Yes, often. Pain is a fundamentally important mechanism for our survival. But it can also be a major hindrance to healing. The survival rates from surgery soared when anesthetics were introduced. Where anesthetics were not available, hypnotism improved survival rates.

Obviously, all pain has both physical and emotional aspects. Often relief from pain comes with finding and working on the emotional aspects with some of the new energy psychology therapies. Sometimes the relief is permanent; sometimes it may be temporary, as with painkillers. Either way, suffering is reduced.

In-depth, holistic psychotherapy promotes healing, not only at the psychological level, but also at the physical and spiritual levels as well.

Can you help me with food cravings and a weight problem?

It may be ‘relatively’ easy to help you deal with food cravings.  I used to be a chocolate addict; now I enjoy chocolate but don’t crave it.

However, reducing or eliminating cravings is only a piece of the puzzle, if you have a weight problem.

I may be able to help you to lose weight. But there is a problem. At least it is a problem for me: I still have a number of pounds to go for myself before I reach my ideal weight. I believe I have finally discovered how to do it, and I’m doing it, but I’m still a ‘work in progress.’

If that doesn’t bother you, by all means give me a call.

Can you help me overcome my drinking problem?

Some clients have been successful. The successful ones were all motivated to overcome their problem drinking. And they stayed with the program. A substantial number of people — perhaps 70 or 80% — jump ship before they have fully dealt with the underlying causes for their drinking. And that is a recipe for relapsing into old patterns.

So if you have a drinking problem that you want to overcome, the key question to ask yourself is "Am I willing to do what ever it takes for however long as it takes?"

My approach is not about teaching you how to manage your problem drinking . (You already know what to do.) My goal is help you make alcohol irrelevant to your life. For success, that needs to be a major goal for you too.

Can I get help in dealing with a traumatic event without having to rehash all the gory details?

Most effective treatments involve revisiting the traumatic events. Needing to revisit the old events, unfortunately, has the effect of preventing some people (perhaps many people) from seeking therapy. Just looking at the traumatic event is too disturbing. Sometimes it is even retraumatizing.

Today some new energy psychology approaches are emerging that may allow you to gain some of the benefits of treatment of trauma without your actually having to "rehash the gory details." A few clients have had some good successes in clearing trauma without ever having to tell me what the traumatic event was.

Can you help me and my spouse rebuild our communication?

Yes, if you are both committed to rebuilding. Failed communication seems to be at the root of many relationship failures. I would work with you to rebuild your communication with each other. The level of understanding and affection, which have usually slipped as communication has faltered, improve along with the communication.

Sometimes I work individually with one or both members, as well as with the couple together.

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