What has changed so dramatically in the last few years is the number of men and women who enter committed relationships after meeting their partner online.
Statistics: The latest figures are that 20 million people per month are engaging in online dating. About 70% of people surveyed said they would use an online dating service to find their partner if they were looking for a relationship. And in a large-scale survey 17% of couples married from 2007 to early 2010 said they had met online…
The statistics represent a huge shift in the way people meet and mate. However, some things have not changed, like the advice I wrote in my article, Marriage: Seven Questions to Consider in Choosing your Ideal Marriage Partner . My stated premise in writing that article was “Choosing well is the foundation of a good marriage.” The advice stands, whether you are meeting someone in a traditional way through friends, family or work, or you are meeting them through a dating site. So choose carefully.
Personally, I have not always chosen wisely. Two divorces attest to that. However, for the last 30 years or so I have been in a marriage that does work. I know the difference.
In my world marriage is a wonderful institution, a long-term, romantic, emotional, intellectual commitment. It’s family. It’s connection. I love it. A good marriage is a great place to live.
A marriage that is not working, however, is the loneliest place on earth. That’s one big reason why it is so important to choose well.
The advent of online dating has indeed broadened the ways in which people can meet. It has greatly expanded the pool of potential partners. But the art of choosing well is still at the heart of a good marriage. If you are considering online dating, you can check out the various dating sites. I further suggest,however, looking for a local service before exploring the big US-based or UK-based services. (I suspect local services will be less attractive to the predators and joyriders we hear may be lurking in the shadows of dating sites.)
If you live on Vancouver Island, check out Tamara Hide’s local service, Island Introductions and her blog, Vancouver Island Singles . Who knows…?
Do your research: look up some of my other articles on marriage, like Healthy Marriage: Some Advice about the Five Conditions of a Lasting Healthy Marriage.
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My partner and I lived as a couple almost three years when the split came without warning. That what I was up to first and I admit there was more anger inside me than warm feelings left. It took me a while and lots of conversations to one friend until I was ready to look at what might have gone wrong far before the final split. Now I see clearly that I only lived on my terms and want aware enough about her feelings. You know, it’s not about being some kind of softie but at least I learned that if you love someone and want to be together with her you have to open yourself for her and yes.