Dr. Neill Neill

 

For most families the holiday season is an emotional time. Our young children make more demands upon us. Our adult children expect something of us. If our parents are alive, they may have expectations of us. Our friends may expect us to go shopping with them or go to parties—thus causing holiday stress!

By Carrie Powell-Davidson

 

We hope that Christmas is a time of joy and happy memories for everyone but the sad truth is, it is not.  Many people have experienced the loss of a loved one and celebrating Christmas without them is unbearable.  Others may be battling one of life’s challenges such as addiction, illness or poverty and well, their priorities just don’t include a warm and fuzzy holiday.  For many of us who work so hard throughout the year, the mere thought of taking on yet another burden like preparing for Christmas is squashing any hopes of a merry ho ho.  As retailers and revelers prepare to greet the festivities with open arms, let’s slow it down a notch and have a look at some ways that might help you to relax this season.

Dr. Neill Neill

 

You have been married and under the same roof for 27 years. For most of that time things have been good, but the last few years have been punctuated with verbal attacks, blaming, criticizing and justifying on both sides.  How do you go about rebuilding your marriage? 

 

You now have separate bedrooms and sometimes go for days without interacting. The underlying atmosphere is so thick with resentment you could cut it with a knife.

 

Neither of you wants the marriage to end, but when you interact, the sparks fly. Your friends say divorce is the only answer.

 

What should you do to rebuild your marriage?

Dr. Neill Neill

 

When two people get married for the first time, they seldom anticipate ever being part of a blended family. However, blended families, and how we transition into them, are facts of modern life.

 

On the first evening of a recent holiday weekend my wife Eileen and I headed off to a cottage on Mount Washington. About the same time three other cars were en route. Our daughter (Eileen’s) and our two grandchildren arrived. Eileen’s ex husband and his wife arrived with their son and Eileen’s and his son. Then their daughter from Ontario and her toddler arrived in the fourth car.

Dr. Neill Neill

 

Have you ever felt burned out? Are life and work becoming just too much and you need a break? Burnout is all too common in the fast paced society we live in.

Dr. Neill Neill

 

In these difficult economic times, we are constantly reminded of ’struggle:’ employment struggles, company survival struggles, family budgeting struggles, health maintenance struggles, and so on. We must overcome some real difficulties, as individuals, as families and as communities. So, the question is—is it in our nature to struggle or to flow?

Dr. Neill Neill

If you are in an unhappy marriage, is it better to stay married just for the sake of the children–or to divorce? Are the affects of divorce on children always negative? What really is best for the children?

Dr. Neill Neill

There are many ways to end a relationship. But many troubled relationships can be turned around, especially if things have not been left simmering for too long. Rebuilding a relationship requires an intention on the part of each party to change. Focusing exclusively on the other is a recipe for failure. Witness: "You make me drink." "Your drinking is the cause of our problems."

Sadly, some relationships reach a point of no return. They are beyond being able to rebuild respect, trust, peace and love. Those marriages need to end.

 Dr. Neill Neill

Every year each one of us grows older. Some try to avoid this by using every product possible for looking younger. But, what about the knowledge and understanding we have gained through life experiences? Is it more important to look younger or accept the wisdom that comes with age? 

Dr. Neill Neill

There is more to retirement planning than the financial issues. As a psychologist, I see people with avoidable emotional issues. If you incorporate mental health and life legacy goals into your planning as you approach retirement, you can create a happier retirement and a more peaceful marriage.

 

 

Sam retires and is finally "free to not have to get up and go to work every day…"