By Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist

Mental illness is not neatly categorized and explained, and that can be a bit scary.  The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders of the American Psychiatric Association (DSM-IV) gives descriptions of the many mental disorders affecting about 20 percent of the population. 

The three mental disorders we most often hear about are schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder (clinical depression.)

I have been up close and personal with all three: family members, close friends, colleagues, pupils and clients.  I even did internships in big mental hospitals, back in the days before they closed their doors.

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Telus, a major telephone company, announced recently that it was going to sell pornography to its cell phone subscribers. If it had proceeded, it would be the first in North America. There was a huge backlash and they canceled their plan. Other big telephone companies quickly distanced themselves from any move to sell porn to their cell phone customers.

Regardless of their rationale for backpedaling, Telus did the right thing.

A task force of the American Psychological Association (APA) released a major report called "The Sexualization of Girls" on February 19. They reported wide evidence that the proliferation in media and advertising of sexualized images of young women and girls is harmful to girls’ self-image and healthy development. It’s damaging to the physical health of our children. It’s damaging to their mental health.

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Dr. Neill Neill

In the spring I said to my wife Eileen a number of times, "I need a break." Well, I got my break. I fell and broke a rib in May. The pain slowed me down a lot, but the pain is almost all gone now and I’ve got most of my energy back.

Vacations (I don’t ask for "breaks" anymore.) are important to mental health, and we self-employed types are especially bad at remembering to take them. Periodically I do manage to interrupt my busyness with a vacation.

I found myself in June to be in desperate need of such an interruption. I hadn’t taken so much as a full weekend off in months. I left my work behind and took off on a 5,400 km mental health motorcycle trip by myself. It would my first real trip on my new BMW R1200RT motorcycle from Island BMW.

On vacations, not only do I get to see and do things that aren’t part of my at-home experience, but also I usually learn something new about myself. This vacation would prove to be no exception.

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Have you ever wondered where the guilt you sometimes feel is coming from? Do you think to yourself that you have nothing to be guilty about, yet you feel a twinge of guilt from time to time? Do you wonder if the guilt could be keeping you stuck in less than full mental health? Then read on.

I’m going to suggest one place guilt feelings come from and a simple way to reduce them.

When you were a child you were probably told a number of times that you should look both ways before you cross the street. Then when you mother would check up on you just before crossing a street, you would tell her with glee, "I should look both ways."

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Dr. Neill Neill

You are invited to take some time to reflect further on love and marriage, particularly on keeping, restoring and renewing love… Recall that my last article was "Healthy Marriage: Some Advice about the Five Conditions of a Lasting Healthy Marriage."

The five conditions were

Look after yourself first…do not merge your identities…enjoy the show…never stop doing things together for fun and laughter…if you want more excitement, take up skiing…

Can you think of four more renewal factors for a strong marriage?

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Neill Neill, Ph.D.

After supplying your body with oxygen and water, you need "presence" for good stress management. The best practice I have ever found for getting present and then staying present for more of your day is a special kind of walk. I call it the "presence walk." It could turn out to be one of the most important tools in your mental health arsenal.

The presence walk is mechanically the same as any other walk; what is different is what you do with your mind while walking.

You have probably heard lots of different expressions about the importance of being present; for example, "Be here now!" "The point of power is in the present." But do you really understand why presence is so important?

The simple answer is that there is no trauma in the present. When we think of trauma we think of something bad that happened in the past. In other words our minds go out of present time and into the past. When we worry about something stressful or even traumatic that might happen in the future, our minds leave the present and move into the future.

Right now you are having a coffee. If you are feeling overwhelmed, it is because your mind on all the things that you have to get done– the future.

So to get your mind off past stresses or worries about the future, here is an exercise that I guarantee will bring you into the present. I’ve been using it personally for twenty years.

Go for a walk of at least 20 minutes. Walk where there are trees if you can. Trees are good because they are big and they are alive. If there are no trees were you live, try to walk where there are other live objects, the bigger the better. Large cacti will work, for example. But use whatever you can.

As you walk let your eyes focus on an individual tree as you approach it. Take in its size, its shape, its color, its texture, and any sounds or smells that come from it. Do not name it; just observe it. When you have it– it should take three or four seconds — let your eyes move to another tree and do the same thing, and then do it again, and again.

Always pick a tree far enough ahead that you never have to break your pace to finish taking it in.

If you continue this for 20 minutes, you will be fully present. The more often you practice the presence walk the more ease you will have in getting into a present time. And besides, you get all the benefits of good walk.

Getting present is key to good stress management. It is important in avoiding the buildup of chronic stress. The presence walk is a basic mental health tool, so use it often.

Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist, maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He is a member of the treatment team at Sunshine Coast Health Centre, an alcohol and drug treatment center for men. His goal is to help you to help yourself to a better life. http://www.neillneill.com

by Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist 

Marriage is supposed to be exciting. Everybody knows that… 

I’m going to look at marriage from another point of view. In my experience many a relationship has crashed because there was too much excitement, or at least, excitement of the wrong kind. 

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Neill Neill, Ph.D.

I just read a disturbing article in the New York Times, disturbing because its implications go far beyond the scope of the article.

The article is entitled, "What’s a Pound of Prevention Really Worth?" by David Leonhardt. He talks about a cardiologist who characterizes himself as "an accidental diet doctor." Dr. Arthur Agatston of South Beach Diet fame now claims that "Heart attacks are essentially disappearing from my practice."

The big picture of what he is saying and taking action on is simple. We know many of the factors that prevent heart attacks, both medical and lifestyle, so a vigorous prevention program reduces the risk by "up to 80 percent."

The problem is it takes a committed patient, frequent visits, nurses, nutritionists and others to succeed.

And according to the article his practice is losing money. Why?

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Neill Neill, Ph.D.

A lot of difficulties and stresses in marriage and other relationships arise from underdeveloped personal boundaries. But to understand this, we need to make sure we’re on the same page as to the meaning of the term "boundaries."

Some confuse "putting up a wall" with "maintaining good personal boundaries." A wall is a solid structure that keeps you inside and keeps everyone else out. I’m sure you’ve seen it happen that a family member will hear nothing you have to say and will reveal nothing of their thoughts or feelings to you. They "put up a wall." Have you ever been there yourself?

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Neill Neill, Ph.D.

The first three stress management tips involved in breathing to let go of tension, keeping your body hydrated to avoid the brain fog and going on a presence walk to get yourself functioning in present time.

Today’s tip, Take an Appreciation Break, is again very simple and easy to follow. But its effects can be profound, because they take place at the physical and spiritual levels, as well as the emotional level.

The Appreciation Break

Look at something, think about something or remember something that you really appreciate or are grateful for. Let yourself feel how much you appreciate it. Feel it at the heart level if you can. Stay with it for 15 or 20 seconds. Do it any time and often, but especially when you are experiencing stress.

When I discovered the appreciation break a few years ago, a beautiful public flower bed near our home was in full bloom. Any time I was stressed or felt under pressure, I would just let my mind go to that flower bed. Within seconds my body would relax and a smile would return to my face. It was during a rough time so I did it multiple times a day.

The thought or memory could also be of a person, a pet, a song or a saint. The content doesn’t matter, just as long as it’s something you really appreciate. (I have been appreciating the sun last few days because we are just emerging from months of cloud and rain.)

As you practice this little exercise over time, it takes less and less time to slip into a state of appreciation, so that eventually you can get there almost instantly.

On the physical level the appreciation break is one of the most effective ways of bringing your heart rhythm into coherence. Simply stated, it helps your heart to work more in congruence with the rest of the body. It’s good for you heart and as a consequence it is good for all your body’s systems.

On the spiritual level the exercise shares a great deal with giving a prayer of thanks. Both are from the heart. Both connect you with something outside of yourself, and as such, act as an acknowledgment of your connection to the universe.

Perhaps the appreciation break and the prayer of thanks are the same thing, except that the appreciation break has no explicit religious connotation. Clearly, either is an expression of human spirituality, whether you are conscious of it or not.

The appreciation break is another key to good stress management, this one grounded in positive psychology. It is a basic mental health tool. Getting in the habit of taking frequent appreciation breaks could change your life.

Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist, maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He is a member of the treatment team at Sunshine Coast Health Centre, an alcohol and drug treatment center for men. His goal is to help you to help yourself to a better life. http://www.neillneill.com