August 15, 2009

Are You in an Unhappy Marriage Just for Your Children?

Emotional distressDr. Neill Neill

If you are in an unhappy marriage, is it better to stay married just for the sake of the children–or to divorce? Are the affects of divorce on children always negative? What really is best for the children?

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September 26, 2006

Help Your Kids Grow, and Then Let Them Go

 

Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist

Parents with young children are totally involved in caring for and protecting their kids. They are enmeshed with their young children. That deep level of codependency of parent and child ensures the survival of the children.

But change comes quickly. Your learn to do things for themselves, and then demand to do them. They develop their own personalities.

You celebrate each time your young children learn to do something independently, like tie their shoelaces, hammer a nail or write a story. Then they enter the teenage years, those few years of rapid physical and emotional transition from childhood to adulthood. They feel sexual urges. They feel very “adult.” They begin to flex the independence you so strongly encouraged up to now.

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April 16, 2007

Parenting your Child’s Imaginary Friend

I want to thank www.More4kids.info for the insightful article, Does your Child Have an Imaginary Friend?  Both the article and a movie (below) could be really helpful to parents who are wondering about whether or not they should push reality or participate with their child in interacting with their . Dealing with your child’s imaginary friends is an interesting part of parenting.

We just watched the excellent movie entitled, Opal Dreams, in which a child with two imaginary friends, Pobby and Dingan, interacts with her parents and community. Opal Dreams is available on DVD and is set in Lightning Ridge, the opal capital of Australia. It’s a worth watching. Enjoy.

Psychologist Dr. Neill Neill maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He focuses on self growth, healthy relationships and life enhancement after addictions. He is the author of Living with a Functioning Alcoholic - A Woman’s Survival Guide. Get on his list for notification that he has posted a new article and receive his free report, "Personal Change."

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September 22, 2007

Trust and the Healthy Family

Dr. Neill Neill

trust of a childOne time I heard a man I knew say to his wife "I don’t trust you. But don’t take it personally; I don’t trust anyone."

What made his statement particularly bizarre was that this same man expected from everyone else—his employees, his business associates, his creditors, and yes, his wife.

The fact is you need people to trust you to order a meal in a restaurant, to have a credit card or a driver’s license or even to be out in public. You can’t get on in life without others trusting you.

But neither can you get on in life without trusting others too. You trust your employer will pay you. You trust the driver of the car arriving at the stop sign will stop and not run into you.

How does trust develop? The fact is you started off in life in a state of trust.

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May 8, 2009

Are You Entitled to Happiness?

happy woman.jpgDr Neill Neill

 

Today I write about happiness, entitlement, achievement and meaning. How do they all connect?

 

A guest came to visit a Saskatchewan farmer for the first time at his farm. As the visitor took in the expanse of billowing wheat fields that stretched out from the well-maintained family home and farm buildings, he commented to the farmer, "God has been good to you." The farmer replied with a smile, "He certainly has…but you should have seen the place when he was managing it by himself."

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December 7, 2008

Increasing Self Esteem in Children

children having funDr. Neill Neill

Parenting is not easy. In the fast paced competitive society we live in, many parents are concerned with their child’s self esteem. Building self confidence in children is important, but can there be a wrong way of going about it?

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July 23, 2007

Facing the Accidental Death of a Child

Dr. Neill Neill

small boy running in streetIt was with sadness that I heard the news of the death in our small community of a five-year-old boy, accidentally run over by a backing truck. And now I see from the local newspaper that his grieving parents are struggling with an insurance company.

What distinguishes an accidental death from other deaths is the suddenness. Most of what I write below applies to other deaths, although the timing may be a bit different.

Last year I suffered the . But the death of a child? My son was 41 and we saw it coming; this little boy was vibrant and healthy and only five. When a child of that age dies, it is as if a part of the parents dies. What horrific for the parents!

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October 16, 2007

Energy Psychology’s EFT is Going to School

 Dr. Neill Neill

Kids getting on school bus.jpgA new website is about to launch. It could be big and it is already multinational. It’s called "School Made Much Easier" and it’s designed for students, parents, educators and practitioners. The website is www.SchoolMadeMuchEasier.com. Check it out and get your name on the advance notice list. The expected launch is in a couple of weeks.

School Made Much Easier is the brainchild and passion of Paul Widdershoven, an experienced EFT practitioner.

, commonly known as EFT, is an energy-healing technique developed by Gary Craig (my teacher) in the 1990s. It has been so effective in reducing emotional distress that it is now used by psychologists, counsellors, medical doctors and educators around the world. What’s even more exciting is that tens of thousands of non-professionals use EFT as a valuable self-help tool.

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September 17, 2006

Mental Illness - The Facts

Ten Things you Should Know about Mental Illness

Dr. Neill Neill

Mental illness is not neatly categorized and explained, and that can be a bit scary.  The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders of the American Psychiatric Association (DSM-IV) gives descriptions of the many mental disorders affecting about 20 percent of the population. 

The three mental disorders we most often hear about are schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder (.)

I have been up close and personal with all three: family members, close friends, colleagues, pupils and clients.  I even did internships in big mental hospitals, back in the days before they closed their doors.

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December 11, 2009

Family Peace and Holiday Stress

family peaceDr. Neill Neill
 
For most families the holiday season is an emotional time. Our young children make more demands upon us. Our adult children expect something of us. If our parents are alive, they may have expectations of us. Our friends may expect us to go shopping with them or go to parties—thus causing holiday stress!

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