Far more frequently as one partner to a marriage increasingly abuses alcohol, the other adjusts to keep the marriage in balance. And that is what happens to a couple when one becomes addicted to alcohol and the other becomes codependent. [...]
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As you contemplate entering a committed relationship, the greater your neediness, or his, the more likely codependency, dysfunction and disappointment will follow. Neediness is a psychological, fear-based characteristic. Neediness in relationships, or in would-be relationships, is paradoxical. The greater the neediness, the less likely it is for legitimate wants and needs to be met. Focus on what you want, not what you need. [...] 
To be personally powerful is to be in charge of yourself. With personal power, you are not a victim. If you can stay out of the five fogs, you can live your life with greater clarity and therefore, more personal power. [...] Many marriages start off as good marriages, but over time turn stale or even hostile. At any given time huge numbers of couples are searching for ways to get their once healthy marriages back on track. There are five necessary conditions or factors which together can help you maintain (or rebuild) a strong, healthy marriage. [...] Anyone who abuses alcohol long enough or heavily enough eventually will have problems with memory. The functioning alcoholic will have memory problems. His memory problems are simply less severe than those of the skid-row alcoholic. [...] |
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