After Marriage Failure: Could We Make It Work Again?

A reader wrote, “If my husband who has been gone for a year and is with another woman decided to… change his life around and come back to his family, do you think we could ever make it work again. I ask this because I ponder why you never tried to correct your previous relationship and I wonder why.”

This is an excellent question, albeit with a personal twist…

Read more

In Love Again?

In Love AgainWhen Is the Right Time to Enter a New Relationship?

As human beings we are social creatures and seem to be hardwired to be in relationships. Previous to about a century ago marriages lasted on average less than nine years, ending with the death of one. The survivor would remarry and stay married until one of them died. Serial monogamy is alive and well today, the only difference being that divorce replaces death in the transition to a new relationship.

Today the typical transition from one marriage to the next follows one of the following sequences…

Read more

Divorce Replaces Death as Marriage Ender

Dr. Neill Neill

Marriage CeremonyI have been married well over 50 years, but not all to the same woman. Yes, I have been divorced twice. If you are thinking, “He must really like being married,” you would be right. I do. When a marriage is working, it is the best place on earth. But when it is failing, it can be an incredibly lonely place.

Eileen is my third wife and we have been together 30+ years. She was married before. Her first husband has been married twice more, each time to a woman who had been previously married. My first wife married again and my second wife married twice more. Their husbands had all been married before.

Now, turn the clock back 150 years or so.

Read more

Reconnecting after a Death or Divorce

Dr. Neill Neill

Again and again I hear from people who are having difficulty with a new relationship in which one of the parties has recently been in a relationship which ended. 

The ending may have come through the death of a partner or a separation.  I define "recently" as during the past year or two. In either case a multitude of emotions will be surfacing.  In either case there will be grief, fear, resentment and anger before it’s over.

The one seeking help or advice is sometimes the person recently bereaved or separated, and sometimes the person who has entered a relationship with someone recently bereaved or separated.

Before going into a discussion of the issue, I must declare that I have been there…

Read more