Being in Control of all Aspects of Life

There are two kinds of control over other people: wisdom-based control and fear-based control. The most obvious example of wisdom-based control is in child rearing. You are in total control of your infant child. You help your child grow up healthy and confident by controlling their learning environment. You teach through words and example and you often say no…then there is fear-based control…

Categories: Marriage, Parenting, Self Growth  |  Tags: child rearing, controlling, management, Marriage, relationships  |  2 comments

When Is a Marriage Beyond Help?

What is the fail point in a deteriorating marriage? When is a marriage beyond help? The underlying issue often turns out to be that one or both parties do not want to be in the marriage.

Categories: Marriage  |  Tags: alcohol-abuse, commitment, Marriage, marriage help, relationships  |  3 comments

When are you old enough to have people stop telling you how to live your life?

First off, let me be clear I am not talking about living outside society’s rules and expectations. If you shoplift, run a grow-op, drink and drive, smoke in the presence of others or abuse your family, there will always be people telling you how to live; there is no age limit.

Categories: Self Growth  |  Tags: growing up, how to live, how to live your life, Marriage, middle age  |  3 comments

Marriage Stress, Blame and Alcohol

Life is full of events that lead to personal distress. And stress can build upon stress which can lead to marriage problems. If one of you drinks to reduce stress, in time the drinking itself causes stress and becomes a major roadblock to solutions.

Quite naturally, you look around to see what’s causing your distress and the only person there is your spouse, so you instinctively blame him or her for upsetting you.

Categories: Alcoholism and Marriage, Marriage, News  |  Tags: addiction, alcohol-abuse, blame, distress, love and respect, Marriage, marriage problems  |  No comments

Is Neediness Part of a Healthy Relationship?

As you contemplate entering a committed relationship, the greater your neediness, or his, the more likely codependency, dysfunction and disappointment will follow. Neediness is a psychological, fear-based characteristic. Neediness in relationships, or in would-be relationships, is paradoxical. The greater the neediness, the less likely it is for legitimate wants and needs to be met. Focus on what you want, not what you need.

Categories: Marriage  |  Tags: codependency, Happiness, Marriage, neediness, relationship  |  1 comment