What is the purpose of relationships?

Romantic couple drinking a toast to their many years together
Romantic couple drinking a toast to their many years together

Relationships are about learning, growth and connection, beginning with our first relationships with our parents. We did huge amounts of learning during those growing up years. Besides the physical stuff we learned language so we could communicate our needs and then begin to understand the needs of others. We learned the rudiments of love and connection.All of this was essential to our being able to connect successfully with others as adults. We are hardwired to seek connection with others and hardwired to seek intimacy…

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Self-Betrayal is the Ultimate Betrayal

Self-betrayalPolonius’s counseled his son in Shakespeare’s Hamlet:

This above all: to thine own self be true.

After my first wife and I separated, I dated and fell in love with a woman who lived some distance away. I was enamored with this person who seemed to be able to accept me as I was. Then one day she commented that I was living in my head…

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After Marriage Failure: Could We Make It Work Again?

A reader wrote, “If my husband who has been gone for a year and is with another woman decided to… change his life around and come back to his family, do you think we could ever make it work again. I ask this because I ponder why you never tried to correct your previous relationship and I wonder why.”

This is an excellent question, albeit with a personal twist…

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In Love Again?

In Love AgainWhen Is the Right Time to Enter a New Relationship?

As human beings we are social creatures and seem to be hardwired to be in relationships. Previous to about a century ago marriages lasted on average less than nine years, ending with the death of one. The survivor would remarry and stay married until one of them died. Serial monogamy is alive and well today, the only difference being that divorce replaces death in the transition to a new relationship.

Today the typical transition from one marriage to the next follows one of the following sequences…

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New (or Old) Relationship? Watch your language!

ConnectingShortly after meeting, Barb says to Jane, “My husband doesn’t talk to me,” and Jane replies, “Neither does mine.” The two of them have an instant bond.

A man and woman start chatting one day in the coffee room at the place they both work. They quickly discover that they both hate their jobs. Their instant connection blossoms into an intimate relationship.

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