Five Rules for Rebuilding your Marriage

longterm marriage
You have been married and under the same roof for 27 years. For most of that time things have been good, but the last few years have been punctuated with verbal attacks, blaming, criticizing and justifying on both sides.  How do you go about rebuilding your marriage? 
 
You now have separate bedrooms and sometimes go for days without interacting. The underlying atmosphere is so thick with resentment you could cut it with a knife.
 
Neither of you wants the marriage to end, but when you interact, the sparks fly. Your friends say divorce is the only answer.
 
What should you do to rebuild your marriage?

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Bullying on Steroids

By Neill Neill, Ph.D.

We all know people who [tag-tec]bully[/tag-tec] their way through life. Through bluster and intimidation they get what they want at the expense of other people.

This column is not about schoolyard [tag-ice]bullying[/tag-ice]. It’s about the models we provide to our children who then become bullies or their victims.

The bullies in adult life are the bosses who exude the message "My way or the highway." They are the men and women who hijack a committee by jockeying themselves into the position of chairperson, and then through force of position and personality, get the committee to endorse what they want. Your choice is to go along with them or resign.

Bullying is the antithesis of leadership. The leader inspires people to bring out their best while pursuing a common goal. The bully intimidates. The leader has a high respect for others. The bully respects no one, except, of course, a bigger bully.

We find bullying in the workplace, in government, in places of religion in education and in the family. Our children are exposed to these models every day.

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Reconnecting after a Death or Divorce

Dr. Neill Neill

Again and again I hear from people who are having difficulty with a new relationship in which one of the parties has recently been in a relationship which ended. 

The ending may have come through the death of a partner or a separation.  I define "recently" as during the past year or two. In either case a multitude of emotions will be surfacing.  In either case there will be grief, fear, resentment and anger before it’s over.

The one seeking help or advice is sometimes the person recently bereaved or separated, and sometimes the person who has entered a relationship with someone recently bereaved or separated.

Before going into a discussion of the issue, I must declare that I have been there…

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